Best Humor |
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her
nose? Whatever happened to preparations A through G? Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. I like to reminisce with people I don't know. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, 'Cut it out'. I filled out an application that said, 'In Case Of Emergency Notify...' I wrote 'Doctor'... What's my mother going to do? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time." So what's the speed of dark? How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dis-ing them? After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics? |